Week 28

And we've made it to the third and final trimester!  Unless of course I go 2 weeks late, and then I think those last 2 weeks should be considered a trimester on their own...thus making a fourth.  But let's keep thinking positive, shall we? :)

Johnny still keeps growing, along with the frequency in comments about how big I am and that I MUST be carrying twins!  Little do they know, this baby is probably going to triple in size!  This week, he should be checking in at around 2.25 pounds and 14.8 inches long.  I love how precise babycenter.com is for their weight and length measurements!  He had me worried for a couple days early in the week, as he just didn't seem very active at all.  But I've learned to give it some time, and sure enough, he's back to his acrobatic self!

This week has been more emotional than physical this time.  Really, the only ache or pain I've been experiencing is that darned pubic bone again.  I'm getting a little concerned that he spends too much time with his head down, but facing the wrong way.  I really don't want him faced posterior when the time comes...I hear back labor is a beast!  But I suppose there are still plenty of weeks for him to get in the right position.  And once again, I have to bear my testimony of prenatal yoga!  I just sleep so much better.  

But I digress.  It's been an emotional week for a couple of reasons.  First, I've realized that Johnny is going to be here pretty soon!  As I've watched Claire and Sophie grow, I've come to realize that for the time being, I don't have a baby!  My baby girls are now big girls, going potty in the big-girl potty and sleeping in big-girl beds!  It's hard to see Sophie as anything but a baby, only because there isn't anyone smaller around to compare.  I try to remember that by the time Claire was Sophie's age, we had a 3 month old baby!  Claire seemed much older.  

But my biggest emotion this week has been fear and doubt.  I think in realizing the utter inevitability of this birth, I've started to feel a bit more anxiety.  I've struggled much more with thoughts of "Can I really do this?", "What if the pain is too much?", "What if it lasts a REALLY long time", or "What if I really am not able to birth my children, and I end up with another section?"  I think a certain amount of anxiety is normal, and even healthy.  It spurs me into action preparing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  But I also know that I have to keep these fears from becoming too big, or they will impede my ability to have this baby at home.  

Danny has been such a good support, and so patient with my emotions (which isn't really something that comes naturally to him!), and I've loved having Beth to talk to.  I don't know if she realizes how much I depend on her faith in birth!  I do feel more confident knowing that both Danny and Beth will be right with me, along with Ali and hopefully even my Mom!  The bottom line is my belief that Heavenly Father really did design birth this way.  And if he did, which I believe he did, then it has to be doable for the majority of us.  And not only doable, but purposeful in its own right.  I won't be able to escape the pain, that's inherent to the process, but I will be able to manage it.  After all, I won't do it alone.  Christ suffered even my labor pains in the Garden of Gethsemane so that he could succor me.  I'm counting on that.