Oh, Johnny...where did the last year go? It breaks my heart that so much of these last two years of your life has been lived in the shadow of your brother's health. It seems like everything has been about Luke, and I know that's had an effect on you. I love that your birthday letter gets to be all about YOU!
John, you are incredible! You have grown up so much this year. The first thing that comes to mind is how frustrated we used to get with each other when I couldn't understand what you were saying. You were 3 1/2 by the time I could focus enough to know that you weren't just going to start talking better. It was so difficult for me to hear from the speech therapist that you had enough difficulty that it would likely take years of therapy and a lot of practice at home to get you past your struggles. I was so overwhelmed. But with the help of some that love you almost as much as I do, I realized that this was an opportunity for me to take some time back for you. And as we've worked together, both purposefully and inadvertently, your speech has progressed quite a bit! We are able to communicate better with each other, and that has cut down on quite a bit of the strife between us that we were experiencing before. I know we're both so grateful for that.
You've become so much of a boy! This is new for me. With only one brother that was considerably younger than me, I don't know what to do with a boy! Luckily, we have your awesome Dad. :) While you still love me best, you have grown to need your Dad for things I just can't do for you. Like wrestling. You LOVE to wrestle with Daddy! You are starting to have the same passions as your Dad for BYU Football and fighter jets. In fact, when we went to the air show this summer, I asked you if you thought the jets were cool. You glanced at your Dad and then said to me with a cautious look in your eye, "Yeah...but I still love BYU!" I loved that you were aware of your Dad's feelings, and that you didn't want to jeopardize the connection that your shared passions brings. I can assure you, your Dad will love you no matter if you love BYU Football and fighter jets. But I'm not going to lie...it won't hurt. :)
When I said that you've become such a boy, I forgot to add that you've also become such the little brother! You love your sisters...but man can you make them miserable! But with all the teasing and pushing and spitting and hitting, I know you love them fiercely. Sophie started kindergarten this year, and you were so sad the day she left! You have never been without her, and you missed her immediately. I know that you three will have a bond that no one will understand. You and your sisters have had to rely on each other for comfort and companionship a lot in the last year and a half. How grateful your Dad and I are for the friendship that you three share.
This last few months of Luke being sick and in the hospital again has been hard on you. You miss him so much, and you hate that it separates us like it does. There were days that you'd be fine all the way until bedtime, and then you'd just cry and cry that you missed Lukey. Whenever you'd come to visit him in the hospital, you'd wash your hands and immediately come to him to get a hug. Even when he wasn't feeling good and unwilling to reciprocate your affection, you'd gently touch his face and say "Hi". You have such a tender heart, my son, and it makes me so proud of you! You have such a mighty spirit, John. You have always been sensitive to the people around you, and that tender heart will allow you to be an instrument in the Lord's hands. You will continue to be the catalyst of so much good around you.
You started Sunbeams this year, and you've loved Primary! You've already given the talent and your first talk. You love to sing "Book of Mormon Stories", but your favorite song is "Families Can Be Together Forever". Your prayers have grown more personal, and you always want it to be your turn! It's so exciting to see your love for your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ grow.
Johnny, your Dad and I love you! Never feel like you're living in Luke's shadow. He is an incredible boy, but our loving Heavenly Father sent you first to be an example and friend to him. And he couldn't have chosen better. So many times my heart has been aching for all that is happening in our life, and you'll come up and wrap your arms around me and tell me that I'm the best Mommy ever. You never fail to hug and kiss me every few minutes. :) You have been my little buddy since you were in my womb. I have always had a special connection with you, and I'm happy to say that the bond has only grown these past four years. I look forward to continuing to be friends with you!
Happy Birthday, John Boy! We're looking forward to another fantastic year of watching you grow smarter, more handsome, and all around more awesome! I love you!!
Love,
Mom
