Happy Anniversary!

August 24, 2010 marks the four year anniversary of our marriage.  And what an incredible four years it has been!  As of this anniversary, we've welcomed two children into our family, graduated from BYU, moved our little family all the way to California, and started a career!  Over the last few months, Danny and I have reflected on how incredible our marriage has been so far.  So, naturally, our anniversary ought to be incredible, right?  Definitely.

Our anniversary this year began at about 1:12 am, when I woke Danny up to tell him I was in labor, and was starting to time contractions.  At 2:12 am, I called Ali and Danny started getting things ready.  There was electricity in the air...so much so that the girls couldn't even stay asleep!  Sophie was especially excited at the prospect of seeing her little brother.  So much so, she decided to stay up and help Danny fill the birth tub.

My labor continued to progress, with contractions ranging from 4 to 6 minutes apart.  I called my Mom to let her know she'd need to be at the airport first thing, hoping that she'd be able to make it on time.  Danny continued to get our room ready for the birth, including emptying and refilling the tub (rusty pipes make for nasty water!)  Soon, Ali arrived and was joined shortly by one of her assistants, Robbin.  Once we hit about 6:00 am, we called Beth to have her come over.  It didn't take long before Beth and Shelly were at the door, and Shelly helped me through contractions until Claire and Sophie woke up.  She got them ready, brought them to me to say goodbye, and took them back to her house for the day.  

Things seemed to be moving along at a pretty good pace up to this point, and from here on out the day just got longer and longer!  I labored outside the tub until about 11:00 am or so, and then I opted for the comfort of the water.

It wasn't long after this that my Mom arrived.  It was incredible.  I had kept my emotions under control, not shedding a single tear or becoming overwhelmed.  Until I saw my Mom at my bedroom door.  I can't describe the feeling, but I instantly started crying.  I felt a mixture of relief and exhaustion and a new appreciation for my Mom as a mother.  All I wanted was to get out of the water and hug her!  But then the next contraction started, and I really had to focus on breathing since I couldn't stop crying.  I'm so glad that she was able to make it.  It was an answer to my prayers.  Labor continued...

And continued...  

And continued. 

 And continued!  

Once we got into the late afternoon, I started to get very discouraged.  I was so tired, and I had a bad feeling that I hadn't progressed very far.  Up to this point, Ali hadn't done a cervical check, so we really didn't know where I was at.  She didn't feel it necessary to check me, but told me she would if I wanted her to.  I was scared to know!  I only wanted to be checked if she was going to tell me that I was at an 8 or something!  I finally decided I needed to know more than I was afraid of the potential answer.  Ali obliged, and to my utter dismay, I was only at a 4 or 5, and wasn't even entirely effaced yet.  At this point, I hit a wall.  I was ready to be done, and couldn't believe I wasn't even half way there, after about 15 hours of labor!  And hard labor at that.  

I sat on the edge of my bed, with my Mom and Danny at my feet, and cried.  I was ready to call it and go to the hospital.  But Danny and my Mom reminded me of what I was doing, and they both really felt like I could do it.  I pretty much just gave in, and kept on going.  Ali entered the room at that point, with what she considered good news.  My little Johnny was posterior!  This felt like another nail in the coffin to me, but apparently she was pretty excited about it!  It provided a reason for why things were taking so long, and why my labor was so difficult.  We decided to see if we could get the baby turned.  This was a less than pleasant experience. While I was on my hands and knees, Ali tried to manually coax his head (that's right...manually), while two of her assistants had their hands on my belly to try to encourage his back to flip.  Ouch!  But, it was successful, and after this my labor completely changed.  The contractions were evenly spaced and though still very painful, much more manageable.  

Hours passed.  I hit another wall when my labor switched again and we determined that Johnny had flipped back to his nasty posterior position.  Again, I sat at the edge of my bed, with Danny and my Mom, and told them I couldn't do it anymore.  I sobbed as I lamented that if I ended up with a c-section, everyone would think I was so stupid.  We would have wasted thousands of dollars.  Johnny would end up with all the treatments that I wanted to avoid.  Turns out, I wasn't ready to give up my homebirth quite yet.  Sometime in the late evening, we checked my progress again.  I was complete!  I had fully dilated and effaced!  I was started to want to bear down a bit, and so Ali worked to encourage that feeling.  Problem was, I never really got the urge to push.  After trying for an hour or so, we checked me again to see how low Johnny's head was.  Ali was discouraged to find that I was beginning to close up a bit.  My contractions slowed WAY down.  And at this point we hit the 24th hour of labor.

Something in me changed.  I got a very peaceful feeling.  And the impression that my work at home was done.  That even though my vitals and Johnny's vitals were still good, that it was time to go to the hospital and have the surgery.  It was time for me to meet my son, and despite all the work and all the preparation, it wasn't going to happen at home like I thought.  And the thing was, I was totally okay with that.  All my previous feelings about looking stupid and such were gone.  All I could think was that I had enough strength left in me to get me to the hospital and to the spinal block that awaited me.  And that was all I had left.  And so I put on my nightgown and shoes, and Danny, my Mom, Beth, and I made our way to the hospital.  

This was how Danny and I spent our fourth anniversary.  It was an incredible day for both of us.  And really, it sums up what our marriage is about!  We work hard together, each of us in our own element.  We make children together, and try to raise them up to the Lord.  We love each other through the easy and fun times, and also the hard and difficult times.  Danny was with me through every contraction of each of those 24 hours.  And I needed him for every one.  I know that I could never have chosen a better husband, or a better father for my children.  Thank you for choosing me, Danny.  I've loved every minute of our four years, and look forward to loving the rest of eternity with you.

Happy Anniversary!