Blessing The Way

First, let me say I have the most wonderful friends here in Lancaster!  Last week, Beth and a few other friends had a Blessing Way for me and Johnny.  A Blessing Way is an alternative to a traditional baby shower, and it is now one of my most treasured memories.

A Blessing Way can really be anything you want it to be.  And depending on those involved, it can be super earthy (almost to the point of pagan), or more of a traditional baby shower with a few hippi twists!  Beth asked me a week or so in advance what I would be comfortable with and what I wanted, and this is what was decided:

First off, it was a really small group.  Here is who attended--Beth Davis (obviously!), Shelly Tolman, Audra Robins, Naomi Morris, my mother-in-law Lori, and my two sisters-in-law Julie and Katie.  We met at Beth's house at 6:30 on Tuesday, August 3rd.  We started off with a potluck, which was delicious!  There was a Mexican Chicken Caesar Salad, fresh fruit (made to look like an Edible arrangement--thanks Mom and Julie and Katie!), a delicious cheesy buttery bread, and a blueberry dessert.  After we all had the chance to eat and visit, we moved into Beth's sitting room to begin.

First, the ladies put together a flower crown for me to wear.  But it wasn't just any ol' flower crown!  Everyone in attendance brought a flower that reminded them of me.  As they handed their flower to be added to the crown, they explained their choice to me along with offering their wish (usually called blessings, but in order to respect the priesthood blessings we hold sacred, we're calling them wishes...) for either me, the baby, or my family.  It was an incredible experience for me, and really set a wonderful atmosphere for the rest of the evening.  The wishes were filled with tender emotion, and it was so humbling for me to hear what my friends think of me and sincerely want for me.

After the flower crown was the foot bath.  This was probably the most "out-there" part of the evening, but was also the part that I think effected me most profoundly.  Beth and Shelly got together a basin of warm water with epsom salt and gathered some towels.  They put the basin at my feet, and starting with Beth, everyone in the room took a turn washing and massaging my tired pregnant feet while offering another wish for either me, Johnny, or my family.  Now, at first I thought this would be totally awkward!  In fact, I hadn't anticipated that everyone would take a turn; I thought it would only be Beth!  I was a bit self-conscious at first, but then it was really incredible to see how my friends were willing to serve me at such a basic level.  When it came around to my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, they used a lavender oil to moisturize my feet after being washed.  I couldn't believe it when Julie offered to take a turn!  (And I found out who gives incredible foot massages!)  Again, it was all very humbling...

Next, they put together a blessing bracelet for me.  Like the flowers, everyone was asked to come with a bead or beads that reminded them of me or signified a wish.  As each bead was added to the bracelet they shared their wishes.  This was probably the part I looked forward to the most, for whatever reason.  The idea is that once this bracelet was finished, it would be put on my wrist where it would stay through labor and until after the baby was born and I was good and ready to take it off.  I was so excited to have this tangible reminder of the evening and of my friends, especially since most of the women there had had a homebirth or was also planning a homebirth.  The bracelet turned out perfectly!  I couldn't have been happier.  Even though the next picture isn't the greatest of me and Naomi, it is the only one with the bracelet! (Sorry, Naomi!)

(Side note: The bracelet lasted a little over 12 hours until Sophie broke it right off and sent the beads flying!  Grrr...I cried for a couple hours of that one.  We found all the beads, however, and Beth is working on getting it put back together a little stronger than before.  Love you, Soph!)

Once the bracelet was happily (yet shortly :) ) on my wrist, Shelly presented me with a journal that she had found especially for me.  I didn't take it home, however, because everyone wanted a chance to write something in there for me and wanted more time to do it in.  Then we spent the rest of the time just talking about homebirth and other such womanly things until we realized it was already 10 o'clock!  We reluctantly disbanded to go back to our husbands and children.  

Really, this was an incredible experience, and one I hope to repeat with future children.  I also can't wait to host one for someone I love someday too.  I don't think we spend enough time together as women, and certainly not unabashedly telling those special women in our lives what they mean to us.  I think it was the perfect way to bless the way for Johnny's birth and my experience in becoming a mother again, to another one of our Father in Heaven's choice spirits. 

You can come now, Johnny!