A Friend in Life...A Sister Forever

Rachel Marguerite Vigil

Dec. 22, 1992-Dec. 1, 2009

Admittedly, I've been avoiding writing this post.  What can anyone say?  Writing down what has happened to my family makes it feel more real, and I'm preferring the denial.  But, more than I prefer the denial, I want all my friends to know who my sister is, what her life was like, how she died, and how her death has affected my life.

Rachel was born just a few days before Christmas.  She is the youngest of the seven of us, and she came early.  Most of my Mom's babies were around two weeks late, so when Rachel came about two weeks early, we weren't prepared!  She was my Mom's easiest delivery, her easiest child, and her easiest teenager.

"Rachel-babes", as she came to be known, was the most "real" person I think I've ever known.  If her smile was infectious, her laugh was pandemic.  Rachel was incredibly intelligent, probably even smarter than me. :)  She excelled in her school work, passing her AP classes to earn college credit as well as becoming a budding artist.  She was a hard worker.  She started busing tables at a local Chinese restaurant when she was 13, convincing them to pay her under the table!  Last summer, while Danny and I were living at home, she worked two jobs.  Rachel was passionately interested in Europe, particularly France, and was earning money towards a trip there during the next summer.  Despite her rigorous study schedule and busy work obligations, Rachel always found time to just hang out with the family.  

It was such a special experience for my family to live with Rachel and my Mom last summer, while we were waiting to move here to California.  I didn't realize it at the time, but it was such a tender gift from our Heavenly Father to get to spend so much time with Rachel.  Danny and I both developed such a personal friendship with her.  Because we were ten years apart, I wasn't living at home for much of Rachel's life.  I treasure my memories of watching The Food Network with her late at night, and of course our Hip Hop Abs early in the morning. 

                                                                                                              
Rachel died in a car accident on December 1, 2009 at approximately 5:30 pm.  She died instantly, and we are confident that she not only was spared any pain, but any fear as well.  I got my phone call, informing me of the accident and of Rachel's passing, at about 6:40 pm California time.  I have deeply feared such a phone call for my entire life.  I'll admit, I didn't handle the news very well.  But with the support and love of my dear husband, and of neighbors who have become family to us, I was soon able to find my way through the shock.  I realized that my loving Savior was with my family...all of us... during that difficult time.  That He was still my foundation, and one I could rely on through this most awful time.  

Danny, the girls, and I drove all night to get to Utah before my brother returned home from his mission in Lima, Peru.  This was, in a way, one of the most difficult aspects of this tragedy.  Rachel died not even 24 hours before our only brother was to be home.  We just missed the chance to be together again as a family here in mortality.  I anticipated, while we drove, that if I thought the last few hours had been hard, that the events I would be experiencing once I got home would be turmoil.  While I can say unabashedly that they were VERY difficult, I can say with utter certainty that they got easier with each passing day.  Every event that I thought would be too much to bear, from the candlelight vigil that the high school had for Rachel, to her funeral and interment, was not only bearable, but increasingly comforting.  More and more miracles, tender mercies, and witnesses of the divine Plan of Salvation accompanied every day, culminating in a feeling of actual joy.

I miss Rachel every day.  Most days, it feels like nothing happened.  I know she's gone from this mortal life, but I'm numb to that fact at the same time.  And then, at odd and unpredictable times, my heart literally breaks again as I mourn the most real loss I've ever experienced.  It is at these most solemn moments that I remember how blessed and privileged I am to be a child of covenant.  I know that the family I was born into is sealed for eternity.  Rachel is my sister as much now as she was when she was alive, and will continue to be for all eternity.  How grateful I am that I know, because of this experience with Rachel, that our lives continue past this mortal life.  And the almost debilitating fear I once had, the fear that losing someone I loved would be more than my testimony or I could bear, has gone.  I know that we have a loving Heavenly Father who is in charge of these things.  And I know that He not only comforts the one going home, but more importantly comforts and provides for those of us that are still here.  

I love this Gospel with all my heart!  I love the family that I was born into.  My mother is the strongest woman I have ever known, and an example to me of faith in every footstep.  Words cannot express the deep love I have for my husband.  I couldn't do anything or be a portion of who I am without him.  And my sweet girls give me more joy and laughter (and frustration!) than I deserve.  Thank you, Rachel, for teaching me so much with your life and with your death.  I will miss you only until we are together again.  I love you!