I didn't always love stake conference, and honestly I don't have a lot of memories of attending when I was growing up. That doesn't mean we didn't! I just don't remember. And I never remember anything about the adult session of stake conference that is held the evening before the general session. But during the years I have been married to Danny, it has become a normal part of our life and it's never a question whether or not we'll attend both sessions. And I can honestly say that I have come to love stake conference! Especially the adult session. It's such a unique time for me to just sit and listen without having to be "The Mom" and I always leave feeling edified and refreshed.
Going into our most recent stake conference, Danny and I were excited and looking forward to hearing from our leaders. We weren't expecting a visiting authority, but nonetheless were very excited to hear from our amazing stake presidency. The adult session was, as always, awesome. The topic of our conference was (surprise!) ministering, and I was again left with a stronger desire to magnify my calling to minister. President Saunders concluded the meeting by inviting each of us to make contact with those we minister to and invite them to the general session of stake conference the next morning. He promised us that if we did so we would be eternally grateful. We were then reminded that we were to each attend conference in the buildings that we usually meet in, and that the conference would be broadcast from the stake center to the other meeting houses. We were assured that the technology had been tested, and tested again, and we were assured there would be no issues with the broadcast.
Well, the next morning Danny and I got our family ready and to our building 20 minutes early. We sat on the front row, and asked the older kids to take Joey around the building for a while to get some wiggles out before the meeting started. While they were gone I took the opportunity to study my Gospel Doctrine lesson for the coming week and Danny visited with Bishop Taylor (whose family was sitting behind us). I heard Danny and Bishop Taylor start talking to the high councilman serving from our ward, Brother Kammeyer, and their voices were all of a sudden rather animated. But I've learned over the years that Danny has served as bishop to tune out conversations in a church setting unless I am specifically included. :) Then Danny sat down next to me and asked me if I could see who was sitting on the stand in the stake center. The resolution of the broadcast wasn't great, but it only took about a second for me to recognize the black halo of hair that is signature to Sister Nelson...who of course was accompanying her husband, President Russell M. Nelson! THE PROPHET WAS AT OUR STAKE CONFERENCE!!!
I wish I could convey in words what that moment of realization was like. Excitement, exultation, slight nausea...it was all there! It was honestly a surreal moment. Danny and I both considered leaving and taking the kids to the stake center! But we were where we had been asked to be, and that is always the right place to be. We were excited to tell the kids once they returned from their laps with Joseph that the prophet was there, and tried to convey in hurried and hushed tones how amazing this experience was going to be. And then the meeting started...
We initially heard from our amazing stake president, President Curtis Saunders. Then a 9 year-old boy, who spoke about what ministering meant to him and how kids can be effective ministers. Then we heard from a recent convert and the newly released stake Young Men's, stake Primary, and stake Relief Society presidents. Then President Nelson had a member of his security team bear his testimony...apparently this brother has children and grandchildren that reside in our stake. Then President Nelson's secretary, who was also President Hinckley's secretary and is the newly-called president of the Bountiful Temple, bore his testimony. Already, to this point, the meeting had been incredible. And it was just getting started!
Sister Nelson spoke to us next. She began by saying how happy she and President Nelson were to be there with us today. She said that they had come early and driven around our neighborhoods, and they decided they wanted to live here. :) They loved the beautiful homes and lovingly manicured yards, and that they especially loved the flowers. She mentioned that we have flowers here that they don't get until the 4th of July! She commented on how much she enjoyed the primary boy's talk, and that she not only wanted to be his friend but she wanted to be here when he was called to be a stake president. :) She then looked into the audience and said, "Well, I'm sure you are all wondering what has changed in our home since President Nelson was called to be the prophet." I guess I hadn't really though about it up to that point, but once she said that I was rather curious!
She started answering that question by recounting what happened when they received the call late into the evening the night President Monson passed away. Her and President Nelson laid in bed talking late into the night. When they were finally left to their own thoughts, she said that as she stared into the darkness the hymn "Where Can I Turn for Peace" started playing in her mind. She admitted that her mind lingered longer than it should have on the phrase "...where can I run?" She couldn't fully comprehend what was before them, and was intimated and anxious. She said there is an old adage in the church when it comes to the wives of those in leadership positions that says "the wife is the last to know". But she said the Lord was tender with her, and that she was not the last to know that the mantle of a prophet had settled on her husband's shoulders, but that indeed she was among the first to know. She told us she could not recount the details of her witness because of the very scared nature of the experience, but that the experience repeated itself in exactness twice...the second occurrence happening the day following the first witness. She said she could stand before any court or any judge, in any nation of the world and testify without the slightest doubt or hesitation that her husband is God's prophet on the earth today.
She went on to say that in the twelve years that she has been married to President Nelson that she has become accustomed to her husband waking multiple times throughout the night and making notes and changes to General Conference talks, or notes about upcoming trainings and other meetings. But that in the 4 1/2 months that he has been the prophet, those spiritual communications have increased exponentially. She said that President Nelson makes notes on a yellow-lined pad of paper that he keeps in the night stand on his side of the bed. She knows it's there, but has never looked at what is written there. She told us that there are times that she has been allowed to stay with President Nelson when these communications come. He will gently take her hand and say, "Wendy, darling...it's happening."
She recounted a different experience where she was asked to be absent. One morning she was awoken earlier than she would have liked to have been awake and had the impression that she was to get out of bed. But, she reiterated, it was much earlier than she wanted to be awake so she lingered in bed. Then she felt nearly compelled to get out of bed. This time she listened, and kept as busy as she could manage with projects around the house. Two hours later, President Nelson finally emerged from their room. He said, "Wendy, you would never believe what has been happening in our bedroom these past two hours. I have been receiving detailed instructions from the Lord as to something I am supposed to do."
She then talked about how President Nelson changes every day. That the man she kisses goodbye in the morning is not the same man that comes home in the evening. She attributed this constant change to him finally doing what he was foreordained to do. She said that he was in the school of the prophets in our pre-mortal life; that he was friends with Joseph Smith and learned with the likes of Noah and Nephi. She said that there have been times she has seen him literally become younger at the pulpit and uses phrases that she hasn't heard him use in twelve years of marriage.
I'm sure she said more, but this was about all I could take in! Before I move on to recounting President Nelson's remarks, I want to try to express what it was like for me as I listened to Sister Nelson. First of all, words fail me in describing the awesome experience of listening to such an intimate view of our living prophet and his communication with heaven. Literally. Awesome. It gives me goosebumps whenever I retell or even think about Sister Nelson's experience being called out of bed in the morning. Amazing! But for me personally, there was another element to Sister Nelson's talk. And I'm finding it even more difficult to articulate what I learned because it was a much more spiritual experience than a mental one, if that makes sense.
Being the bishop's wife can be lonely sometimes. And not in the way one might think, at least not for me. I have an amazing ward, full of amazing men and women who I can honestly say have not treated me one bit differently since Danny was called to be the bishop. From what I understand, I'm lucky in that regard! Where I experience loneliness, however, is that I am unable to share a lot of what Danny experiences with him. I can't know why he comes home so broken-hearted and burdened sometimes. I cannot look at his phone or his email and I never know who he disappears into the other room to talk to. At church, there are conversations I end up in where people think I have the slightest idea of what they are talking about. They don't realize that Danny really doesn't tell me anything! It's lonely when I know he can share aspects of his calling with his counselors, with the Relief Society and Elder's Quorum presidents, and even with the Stake President. But never with me. It's lonely knowing that one of the biggest, most important, most challenging, and ultimately most rewarding aspects of Danny's life is one I'm left out of. It's been so hard for me to know how I fit in. I believed President Saunders, and still believe when it is said that bishops are called as husband and wife. That the bishop could not do his work without his wife. But aside from making sure his white shirts are clean, the kids are at church, and Danny has a quick meal between meetings...I've just been really unsure as to what my role is.
Something about Sister Nelson's remarks spoke to my soul, and soothed it in a way I still can't quite describe. It started with her saying that the Lord was tender in not leaving her to be "the last to know". That really resonated with me, because I feel like I'm living that adage that "the wife is the last to know"! Something about her being among the first to know that her husband was the Lord's prophet testified to me that the Lord is aware of his daughters that stand by these men he calls through the priesthood to lead in His church. And that means He is aware of me. I remembered that I, like Sister Nelson, had experiences before Danny was called that I cannot recount because of their sacred nature that testified to me that Danny was going to be the next bishop. And, like Sister Nelson, it didn't happen only once. The Lord was tender with me in not leaving me to be "the last to know" that the Lord was calling my husband to be the bishop, and in a way I could never doubt or deny. As she spoke about being allowed to stay with President Nelson sometimes, but more poignantly the times she was asked to be absent, I was taught by the spirit something about the role of the wife of the prophet...and in some small way the role I have as the wife to the bishop. I, in no way, wish to say that my experience being married to the bishop is anything like Sister Nelson's experience being married to the prophet! And I really can't articulate what it was exactly that the spirit was teaching me. The best way I can think of to describe the experience is to say that it as almost as though I was learning Spirit-to-spirit. The Holy Ghost testified of my role as Danny's wife and even though I can't find the words for what my spirit learned, it left me in tears. My heart was full of the certain knowledge that I am a daughter of God, that He knows me and loves me and understands me. And that I am a part of the great work he has called my husband to do. And perhaps, later in time, I'll come to know fully what I was being taught. But until then, it is enough that my heart is eased and my soul soothed. And now I love Sister Nelson with all my heart, and am so grateful that the Lord sent her to speak to me!
Then President Nelson got up to speak. It was just incredible to see that great man at the pulpit of our stake center!! President Nelson began his remarks by thanking everyone who spoke, and the choir for their musical number. He made particular mention to a 9 year-old from our stake named Coleman who gave a talk at the beginning of the meeting on ministering. President Nelson quoted his talk by saying, "Ministering is being someone's friend, no matter what!" He then asked all the primary children in attendance (no matter what building) to stand. He asked them each to wave to him so he could see them all. He told us that even with all the blessings we had, these children were our greatest blessing and our greatest resource. Then he told us the things he would have us teach our children:
1-Teach them what it means when they sing "I Am a Child of God". We must teach our children of their importance to their Heavenly Father and to Jesus Christ.
2-Help them understand how important it is to communicate with their Heavenly Father, morning and night. He shared a story of a time he was waiting at the dentist and was watching an aquarium of fish. He asked the young lady at the desk who fed the fish, and she replied "I do." He then asked her, "Have they ever thanked you?" She laughed as she replied, "Not yet!" President Nelson then admonished us to not be like those goldfish, oblivious to what we are given but to constantly recognize our blessings and to thank our Father always.
3-Teach your children of Jesus Christ and the Covenant Path. Jesus Christ came to be our example in all things. As in Adam all die, but in Christ all will live. We need to teach our children about the atonement, eternal life, and that while the gift of the resurrection is given to all of God's children, exaltation is conditional. We must be on the Covenant Path to qualify for that greatest of gifts. We need to enter the temple to receive our covenant and sealing ordinances. President Nelson re-emphasized that if we remain faithful we will have the greatest of all gifts, that of eternal life. And that we qualify for that gift by remaining on the Covenant Path. He then reminded us that when we drift from the Path...that's why we have ministers! And how do we minister? President Nelson said, "Don't make it too hard! Just do what Jesus would do!"
4-Help them understand about the emblems of the sacrament, and why there are two emblems...one for His blood and one for His body. We covenant with the Father by taking these emblems INTERNALLY into our bodies. President Nelson emphasized that this is highly symbolic.
5-Teach them to follow the prophets. The Lord has always taught his children through prophets. The prophet Joseph Smith, and this dispensation, are remarkable above all other dispensations. All other prophets were limited in time (referring to the apostasy) and geography. No longer will this be the case. This dispensation will be contiguous until the second coming. President Nelson continued by saying that when he was a boy, there were less than 600,000 members in the whole world, and none in South America. Now, there are over 16 million members worldwide and 3 million members in South America alone. He also talked about the power of the priesthood. He mentioned that Joseph Smith's average pace of translating the Book of Mormon was nine pages per day. He then asked, "How do you feel when you READ nine pages per day?" Then he did a little happy dance! :) He also said that today, with the technology we have, the church's average pace for translating the Book of Mormon in other languages is 1 page per day, which is further evidence of the miracle of Joseph's translation.
6-Help them to understand the scriptures. He emphasized that children should be listening to the scriptures in their fathers' voices, because he knew their mothers were already reading to them.
7-Teach them about the restoration of the priesthood. Teach them specifically about priesthood keys and that they provide accuracy, authority, and validation.
8-Teach them about the importance of the family. He encouraged us to have lots of pictures of our family around our homes, especially pictures of our ancestors in order to encourage a spirit of family history. He also encouraged the young people who are computer savvy to get involved in various aspects of family history, including indexing.
9-Teach them the importance of tithing. He told us that we teach the principle of tithing to the poorest on earth because the Lord will open up the blessings of heaven. Most of the time, those blessings do not mean increased wealth, but mostly come in the form of spiritual knowledge and understanding. However, he said that if we are to ask the wealthiest saints among us, they are always tithe payers. :)
10-Teach them to understand the importance of the Word of Wisdom. He testified of Joseph Smith's revelation in 1833 that provided us the Word of Wisdom, and reiterated and testified of the truth of that revelation. He testified that we will receive hidden treasures if we follow those principles.
11-He urged us to protect our families from pornography. He talked about how he and his personal secretary have to deal with the cancellations of temple sealings. He said that often the dissolution of the marriage and subsequent request for cancellation of temple sealings are usually the result of problems in the marriage that started with pornography.
12-He asked us to teach our children to be good students, to learn another language, and to get all the education they can get in their lives.
President Nelson then bestowed upon us an Apostolic blessing, which will always be one of my most cherished experiences. He blessed us to feast upon the words of Christ and to be able to apply them. He blessed us with peace in our homes and that we would be examples to our friends and neighbors. He then blessed us with healing, commensurate with the will of the Lord. He expressed his love for all of us, and felt that what he shared with us was the message the Lord wanted us to hear.
We sang the closing song and had the benediction and finished promptly at the hour (which apparently is pretty important to President Nelson!) :) Then we all stood as President Nelson and Sister Nelson stood to leave. President Nelson shook the hands of each of the other speakers, and then asked Coleman to take him to his parents. We watched as he walked into the congregation and shook hands with Coleman's parents. What a payday that had to be!! He then shook hands with various people and waved as he made his way to the door, paying particular attention to the row of priests sitting on the front row. :) He stood in the door of the chapel for another minute or so and waved to us all. Even though I was in another building, it didn't feel like it at all. My heart was near to bursting with the desire that he would stay just a little longer. I remembered this scripture and knew in my heart that I was experiencing very near to the same thing as the Nephites did when Jesus visited them in the Americas: (3 Nephi 17:5) "And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them." I felt just like that. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and I didn't even want to blink! I knew the intense spirit of the Lord that had been present for that entire conference and especially as the prophet was speaking to us would dissipate when he left and I didn't want it to ever leave! The intense feeling of love and joy in my heart was unlike anything I had experienced before. But after what felt like only another moment, President Nelson waved a final time and exited the chapel.
As we got ready to go, Johnny asked if Danny thought he'd ever have the prophet come to another one of his stake conferences, to which Danny emphatically said it was highly unlikely! This was a once in a lifetime experience! Danny and I marveled for the rest of that afternoon. We felt beyond humbled and beyond blessed that we had that amazing experience. I had a firm witness when President Nelson gave his press conference after President Monson died that he was indeed the Lord's next prophet. And the solemn assembly during General Conference when we sustained President Nelson was an incredibly spiritual experience for me. But after this stake conference, I can say without any hesitation or doubt that I KNOW that President Nelson is God's prophet on the earth. I know it like I've never known it before. I love President Nelson and I will do my best to always follow his counsel and his invitations to do whatever I need to do to be closer to Christ. I am so grateful for the privilege it is to live as a righteous child on the earth during these last days. I am so grateful that my children have this memory, and I pray it shapes their lives as it will mine.
