I can't believe it's been three years. I remember so clearly being pregnant with you, and barely being able to wait until I could hold you. I remember holding you for the first time, and instantly falling in love with you. For three fantastic years you've been my little buddy. I'm such a lucky Mama!
Johnny, you are such an awesome kid! Your personality has really bloomed over the last year, and I've learned so much about you. I have learned that you are the most like me of all our kids! You have a need for organization, and can't tolerate when things are out of order. You love to pick up your toys and put them in the right place...well, most of the time anyway. You have to have everything just so before you go to bed, or you'll get up and fix it. Can't say I blame you. I've noticed I do the exact same thing! Every time I start to get frustrated with an OCD temper tantrum, I remember that I do the same thing when my life gets out of order! Minus a few flailing limbs. :) It might be difficult to handle now while you have a limited ability to express yourself, but someday your need for order will be one of your strengths. At least I'll always see it that way. :)
Over the past year, your Dad and I have watched you become the quintessential boy...and brother. You pick on your older sisters mercilessly! We know you love them, and I'm sure they know it too. But if you see a way you can bother, distract, or disrupt them...you'll do it! You especially get under Sophie's skin, and the two of you go the rounds day in and day out it seems. I'm sure the time will come when the two of you will be the best of friends. But for now I mostly try to keep you apart. :) While you bother your sisters incessantly, you have nothing but love and concern for your little brother. This year was hard on you, having Luke gone so much. While I know you couldn't have understood what was going on, I think your sweet spirit recognized what was happening. There were times I could sense how much your heart hurt for your brother. There were more times than I can remember when I would be tucking you into bed and you'd just be crying, "Lukey, Daddy, HOME!" Ever since he was born, you have made sure to give Luke a kiss before bed every opportunity you had, and when the morning would come you were always there when he woke up. You share your toys with him, and show so much excitement when Luke learns something new. While our future is uncertain, I have complete certainty that you and your little brother are best friends...forever. You have a bond that began before you came to his earth, and I know with all my heart it will continue into the eternities. Luke could never have a better big brother than you.
Johnny, your testimony is growing. You love to point out Jesus in any picture you see. You love to sing Primary songs before we say our family prayers. Your two favorites are "Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam" and "Nephi's Courage", which you call "I Will Go, I Will Do!" You often have to remind me that you want to say your personal prayers before bed, and I'm reminded of how much you love to pray. I hope I can help you keep that love of communicating with your Heavenly Father. Prayer will always provide you the strength you need. You love to go to Nursery, and honestly don't even stop to say goodbye to me or your Dad. Your teachers have told us how good you are in class, and how you help the littler kids when they need a toy. You help to clean up after snack time, and you always have a big hug for each of your teachers.
You are such a Mama's boy, Johnny! This last few months since Luke has come home have been hard for you. So much of my time and attention goes to caring for Luke and making sure the house stays running. You often say to me, "I just want you", and ask me to come and sit with you or just hold you. You've taken to coming into our bed and snuggling up as close as you possibly can to me at night. While it may affect my quality of sleep, I know it comes from your need to be close to me. And that really does warm my heart. I know the time will come all too quickly when you're too big to sleep in my bed, and when you won't need to be so close to me. I can appreciate my sleeplessness a little more with that in mind. I know I'll miss your little body cuddled into mine.
While I am unequivocally your favorite, you love your Dad to pieces. You're at the age when you love to rough house around, and no one does that better than your Dad. When it's bedtime, and it's time to say goodnight to your Dad, you have the cutest ritual. You say to me, "Hold my bottle", and when your bottle is safely in my hands, you run full speed and jump into your Daddy's arms. You two wrestle your goodnight hug, and then it's off to bed with you. Your Dad loves this hug more than you do, I assure you. He's so excited to take you to your first BYU Football game in just a few weeks. I look forward to watching the relationship you two share deepen and grow.
You still have a love for learning. You really love reading stories. While Dad or I are reading to you, you mumble the words right along with us. You love counting, and you're at the age when all I hear all day long is "All By Myself!" You and I are about to embark upon our potty training journey, and I hope you are as zealous about learning to use the big boy potty as you are about learning other things!
John, you are such a special boy. You are beyond handsome, charming, smart, fun, and funny! It's scary how much like your Dad you are. :) You bring joy and sunshine wherever you go. I know you are destined for great things. I know that no matter how my heart may ache, your hugs and genuine "I love you" can get me through anything. Over the last few weeks, as we've watched and wondered what would happen with Luke, you started doing something new that has helped to keep me going with a smile on my face. The following conversation takes place numerous times a day, always started by you:
You: "Me love you, Mom!"
Me: "Me love you too, John!"
You: "Me love you the most..."
Me: "No, me love YOU the most..."
You: "NO! Me love you the most ever!"
Thanks for being my best bud, Johnny. Thank you for being a part of our family. You hold a place that could only ever be yours. Your Dad and I love and cherish you more than words could ever express. I hope you've felt at least a fraction of that love by reading this letter. I love you, Johnny! Happy Birthday!
