The Last Three Weeks

So, as it turns out, I could continuing growing for three more weeks!

Time really slowed down during this last three weeks. Which is par for the course, really. I had trouble sleeping, eating, sitting, laying down, moving, walking, breathing...everything! All day, every day. And I kept hoping against hope that something would happen and I'd get to have our son early. Dr. Davis, at every appointment, reminded me that it didn't matter if they hurt or not...if I had 5 or more contractions during one hour I was to go directly to the hospital to have that baby. And you know what? That happened. A lot, actually. But I never felt like it was time. So I didn't go in, and every time the contractions would stop once I laid down for the night. And every morning I awoke to disappointment at another day pregnant, but grateful that I hadn't pulled the trigger and had him before he was ready. I have prayed and prayed that the Lord would made sure Joey was ready by the time that scheduled section came, and I thought maybe things would be like they were with Luke and my water would break or something so that I would know that Joey was ready. That didn't happen, and I have been repeatedly disappointed during this last few weeks that it didn't. But as I'm writing this, I had the thought that the Lord did hear and answer my prayers...I knew every time I would start contracting that it wasn't time yet. Joey wasn't ready to come. I'm grateful that I listened, and I'm grateful for a loving Father who knew my heart and let me know.

My appointments with Dr. Davis were always interesting. I've been meeting with him weekly now, and it was always fun to find out how big Joey was measuring. At my second to last appointment, at 37 weeks, we couldn't even get a decent measurement because Joey's abdomen was bigger than the view of the ultrasound screen! The best estimate we could get was somewhere between 11 lbs 3 oz and 10 lbs 6 oz...with two more weeks to go! Dr. Davis also noted the insane amount of fluid I was still carrying, and remarked that it was going to be quite the flood in the delivery room when they broke my water. :) But even with as big as the baby was and as uncomfortable as I was, everything looked great. My blood pressure was awesome and Joey's heartbeat was nice and strong. 

My next appointment was at 38 weeks. The night before this appointment had been a truly terrible, awful, miserable night. I could barely get myself out of bed at night to use the bathroom, I couldn't breathe when I laid down, and the pubic bone pain was constant. Somehow, in the middle of the night, I convinced myself that it was at least a possibility that the baby would be so big that Dr. Davis would insist on delivering that day. And after all the convictions I have about waiting until the baby is ready to come, my resolve had reached it's limit. I woke up that morning in tears, and started packing the last few things for the hospital bag. I was taking it with me to my appointment, just in case. I was so done!!

Well, I went to the appointment determined to look pathetic...for once. Usually I'm all smiles, but I was hoping Dr. Davis would notice how miserable I was. Nope. We did the ultrasound, but Joey was just so big we could only get one shot! At least we could be assured he was still a boy, and his Daddy could walk a little taller! ;) But once again, the baby and I both looked great...so he bid me a quick goodbye, told me to make my six week appointment on the way out, and he'd see me on Monday morning. I managed to hold my tears in until we got to lunch where all of Chick-fil-A could see a ginormous pregnant woman crying into her cookies and cream milkshake. :)

38 Weeks

After that appointment, and once I had come out of my pit of despair, I knew there was nothing left to do but wait until Monday morning. I just knew, even with contractions happening every now and again, that my body was no where close to starting labor. So I enjoyed a lot of time on the couch with the kids playing "The Claire and Sophie Spa". :) This was my favorite thing! We'd watch Cupcake Wars while the three kids rotated from massaging my terribly swollen feet and ankles and playing with my hair. I reminded myself that I only had a few more opportunities to enjoy my afternoon naps on the couch with Johnny, so I made sure to fit in as many of those as I could. I ate what I wanted and cried when I wanted. 

 Finally, Saturday arrived. Only two more days of being pregnant! I woke up that morning from a not-so-restful night and the first thing on my mind was food. And I wanted to do something special with the last day we had to do something with just the older kids. I knew what I wanted to do...I wanted to go out to eat! And I wanted Moochie's!! Now, it was a virtual guarantee that it would give me the worst case of heartburn ever. But what did that matter? I wasn't sleeping anyway! Danny was totally on board with his idea. :) We had a lot to do though, since it was our last work day before the baby came. I needed to make sure all the laundry was done and the house was cleaned, and the kids all needed to be packed. This was quite the feat of organization, since Johnny would be spending most of the week at Danny's parents' house, but the girls would only be there for two nights. Then they would spend one night at Grandma Candy's before heading to Denver for Megan's wedding. We did all we could before dinner time, and got most everything done. The only thing left to do the next day was pack the kids. 

At 4:00 pm, we piled the kids in the car and headed out on our little family date. Our first stop was the cemetery...we wanted to visit Luke for a few minutes. With all the excitement of Joey coming in just over a day, there was a real sense of Luke missing. The kids mostly ran around, but Danny and I held each other for a little while at our youngest son's grave. There were tears...tears of sorrow and tears of anxiety about how our family was going to change. Again. But it never takes long for a sense of peace to come. And sense of knowing that all is exactly how it is supposed to be. 

Crying made me hungry, so we made our way to Moochie's. We didn't tell the kids where we were going for dinner, and they had quite a fun time trying to guess. When we pulled in, they were so excited! And no one had even thought of it, which made it all the cooler. :) We kind of went a little crazy, and ordered everything we like...a meatball sub, a philly cheesesteak sub, an Italian sausage and peppers sub, and a chicken parmesan sub. Oh, and a grilled cheese for Johnny and a couple sides of fries for the family to share. Then we ate family style, splitting all the sandwiches up so we could all have a little bit of what we wanted. I can't describe in words how delicious that meatball sub was!! A close second had to be the philly with their delicious jalapeño sauce on it. Like I said, I was willing to suffer the heartburn for one last amazing meal before I had to worry about upsetting the baby's tummy. We all ate our fill, and then some, and it was awesome!

Amazingly enough, I didn't get heartburn! Go figure. :) Sunday was a regular morning in that Danny went to meetings and the kids and I got ourselves to church. We did manage to get everyone packed that morning, so we would be ready to go right after dinner and drop the kids off at Grandma and Papa's. Church was full of people astonished that I was there the day before having a baby, and it wasn't the most comfortable three hours of the day. But I'm glad I went. I knew I'd be missing Sacrament Meeting for at least three weeks, and the whole block for longer than that. And I needed the extra dose of the Spirit. I was getting a bit anxious!

When Danny got home from meetings, we ate a quick dinner and then did blessings. Johnny wanted one, but the girls declined. And of course I wanted one. Danny gave me a beautiful blessing, and it put many of my fears to rest. I was once again blessed that I would have the support of the women in my life from the other side of the veil, including my Heavenly Mother. I was blessed to feel Luke's presence, but that my heart would not be sorrowful. I am so very grateful for Danny and his worthiness to hold the Priesthood, and for the way he exercises that great gift. I truly married a remarkable man.

Before I knew it, it was time to load the kids and the dog in the car and take them to Grandma and Papa's house. I printed out the itinerary for where everyone was supposed to be and when to give to Grandma, and we were off. I didn't even think to take a picture with the kids before we left!! But I did remember to take one last pregnancy picture. :)

39 Weeks!

Danny and I still had a handful of things to do before bed, and it ended up being kind of a late night. I wasn't quick to want to get to bed, as I knew it wouldn't be a restful night. We had to be out the door at 5:00 am, and I knew my anxiety and anticipation would keep me awake. I remember thinking a lot about Luke as we started closing down the house and getting ready for bed. Danny and I talked about our little guy, and how much we missed him. We cried, but once again that feeling of peace and reassurance was close behind.

And with that, we went to bed! My last night being pregnant. Ever. :)