Mother's Day

I remember celebrating my first Mother's Day when I was this far along with Claire.  It doesn't seem that long ago.  But here I am, five short years later, celebrating Mother's Day with my three kids and a very large belly!

I enjoyed a very nice Mother's Day this year.  Both of my sweet girls came and told me "Happy Mother's Day" just as soon as they were awake, and all the kids were very easy to get ready for church that morning.  Danny did most the work. ;)  Sacrament Meeting was very nice, and I especially enjoyed watching Claire and Sophie sing their Mother's Day medley with the rest of the Primary.  This was Sophie's first year, and she looked so cute up there!  I was holding Johnny while they sang, and it only took a few minutes before the tears were flowing.  I was overcome with the reality of my motherhood, and how truly amazing each of my children are.  It was a tender moment.  

Throughout the rest of the church block, I attracted many a sympathetic "Happy Mother's Day" from about everyone in the ward.  You know you must look miserable when most of the comments are coming from men instead of women!  I think everyone feels really bad for me. :)

When we got home, Danny and I worked together to get dinner marinating.  No...he didn't make me help.  I like working with Danny in the kitchen.  Plus, I didn't want to feed the kids lunch. ;)  On the menu was OBB's Chicken and Steak Fajitas.  We were excited!  After we got the kids fed and the dinner in the refrigerator, Danny and the kids let me open my present...

I was pretty happy when I saw what was in that cute gift bag...

A "Slice-O-Matic"!! :)  I do enjoy getting new kitchen gadgets, especially the kind that makes cooking quicker and more uniform. :)

I think one of my favorite parts of Mother's Day are the handmade cards I get from the kids.  They're so sweet.  And this year, the girls each made two cards...one at school \and one at church.  And they were so proud of them, and so happy to give them to me.

I love Claire's pictures.  She's quite the little artist.  This is a picture of me and a rainbow.

  Even Johnny's cute Nursery leaders helped him make something that he could give me.  When I went to pick him up, he walked up to me with his gift in both hands and those big brown eyes just looking up at me.  That boy can melt my heart.

After presents were done, we spent the rest of the afternoon chilling out.  Danny and Johnny took naps, I did some blogging, and the girls did everything in their power to remain reverent and quiet as they played...to little avail.  But they were happy.  Around 5:30, the troops showed up for Mother's Day dinner.  We set the table with the Fajitas and all the fixings, including fresh guacamole, a rice and black bean side, and watermelon.  We failed to get a picture of dinner this time, but it was amazing!  Everyone enjoyed it and was well-fed.  For dessert, we picked up a chocolate tuxedo cake that we've been eyeing at Costco for about 4 months and never could justify buying.  It was so amazingly rich, with 7 different layers of chocolate!  So awesome!  After we finished eating, we quickly gave Grandma Call her gift certificate to Beyond Spa, and loaded the kids in the car.  There was still one more special lady to wish a "Happy Mother's Day" to!

The girls were so excited to see Grandma Candy, and as soon as Sophie got through the door, she ran to the deck and exclaimed, "Happy Mother's Day, Grandma Candy!"  My Sophie is such a sweetheart, and she has a special bond with her Grandma Candy.  We gave Grandma her gifts (some serving dishes for her deck parties) and enjoyed a beautiful spring evening outside.  Everyone else was gone, so it was just us and Grandma.  It made for a quiet evening, but it was so nice to just visit with Mom.  It was a perfect end to the day.

Motherhood is definitely quite the undertaking.  I'm learning more and more what a sacrifice it is to do it right.  Really, to do it at all!  But I am so grateful for the privilege it is to be a mother in Zion.  I'm grateful for my testimony of my divine nature as a daughter of God, and my testimony of the sacredness and importance of the call of being a mother.  I personally feel as though I've been blessed with the best spirits our Heavenly Father has to offer, and I'm humbled daily by the task of raising them back to Him.  

Claire is a beauty, in and out.  She's so smart, and so confident, and so trusting.  I'm so glad she's mine, and I'm so glad she came to us first.  I can't imagine a better first child.  She is so nurturing by nature, and I am seeing more and more a glimpse of the woman she'll be when she's older.  I know without a doubt she'll be a better woman than me.  

Sophie is such an incredible girl, and gorgeous to boot.  It seems like a lot of the power struggles we had are gone (for the time being), and most of the time I'm left with an incredibly sweet little girl.  She loves her teachers and her friends at school, and is a great big sister to Johnny.  She has so much enthusiasm for life, and she says the funniest things.  She can always put a smile on my face.

John is my boy.  He's my little buddy all day long.  I love taking him shopping and on errands while the girls are in school.  He's always so happy to hold my hand and follow me everywhere.  He gives me the biggest hugs and kisses, and I know I'm his favorite.  I love how much of a little boy he is, making car noises and running to the window to see the jets fly by.  And though we're seeing more of his "brotherliness" come through (he's gotten quite adept at tormenting his sisters), he absolutely loves his family.

I know I have the cutest kids in the world.  I am one lucky Mama.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Week 39

Am I looking tired and hammered, or what?  Being this far along, and adding the chest cold and allergies to the mix, I'm just not sleeping much anymore.  And as you can see, it's taking its toll!  But a week from right now I should be holding my son.  I can hardly believe it.  Seriously...it seems surreal.  

Before we launch into more feelings, of which there are always plenty, we'll review my appointment from yesterday.  It was the last time I'll see Dr. Davis before this baby is born!  As I walked in to have my weight and blood pressure checked, he was sitting in his usual spot next to the blood pressure checker.  I said, "How's it going?" and he just laughed.  He asked how I was doing, and just chuckled when I put on my biggest smile and responded, "Fantastic!".  When he joined us in the exam room, he asked if there were any bets on size, at which Danny responded with 10 lbs 4 oz.  He stared the ultrasound, and couldn't get any really reliable readings since Luke is so big and so squished in there.  But, best guess was 10 lbs 2 oz.  Way to go, Danny!  He then told me he'd see me in a week, that he was really excited to see how big this baby was going to be, and to go ahead and make my 6 week postpartum appointment at the desk before I left.  And that was that!  I guess we're ready to have a baby now! :)

We really are pretty close to ready.  I finished all the most necessary shopping, and sorted and washed all Luke's clothes.  All that's left to do is to clean his room and set up the crib.  Danny and I think over the next couple of days we'll have that completed as well.  My hospital bag is all but packed, with a list for the last minute items that can't be packed until right before we go.  Interestingly enough, having all this done doesn't make me feel any more prepared or ready to have this baby.  Don't get me wrong, I have an insane sense of gratification from getting so many things checked off a rather long list.  But I still feel a certain amount of anxiety.  As I covered in last week's post, I'm plenty nervous about the surgery and recovery.  But I'm also worried about bringing Luke home.  I worried about how I'm going to handle life AND take care of a newborn.  Every way I look at it, life is going to be in shambles for a while.  I suppose I need to have a little more faith in myself and in my family.  

I'm even stressed about his name.  Is "Luke" the right one?  Or should we go with "Joseph"?  We'd wait until we've met him to decide, but both Danny and I like to be able to talk to them right as soon as they get here, especially greeting them by name.  I seriously get hung up on the most trivial details.  But, as is rather common with pregnancy, the trivial details seem the biggest.

But, ready or not, at the most I have 7 days until I'm on to the next phase.  And there is plenty going on this week to keep my mind occupied.  We've decided to celebrate Claire's birthday early, so that we can enjoy it together with all our family and not have to worry about an over-medicated-recently-incised mommy and brand new baby.  So we have some shopping and planning to do for her.  There is a regional conference this weekend, and we've been invited to gather at the Conference Center in Salt Lake and hear from Elder Uchtdorf.  I'm planning on getting a pedicure with my Mom at some point, and we're planning a special Family Home Evening outing for the night before.  Just our "little" family of five. :)  Not to mention that Great Grandma is in the hospital as of this morning with some congestive heart failure, but should be home in the next day or two.  Aunt Susie is having open heart surgery to fix/replace her pacemaker tomorrow.  Danny is starting chiropractic treatments this afternoon to try to alleviate the pain in his neck and the headaches that come as a result of that pain.  Sigh.  Reminds me of the week before Johnny was born when Sophie got a double ear infection, Claire had the flu, and Danny threw his back out.  What is it about having these babies?  They must be destined for great things, for the world to feel like it's falling apart right before their arrival.

And there you have it.  The countdown to Luke begins!  7 days and counting...

Don't get me wrong.  Anxiety and all, I'm super excited to see this "little" guy!

Graduation Weekend

As is the norm anymore, graduation weekend was a few weekends ago.  Seriously, I just can't seem to get things done fast enough anymore!  But I suppose what's important is that they're still getting done, right? :)

Nick graduated from BYU on April 19th and 20th.  He graduated Summa Cum Laude from the History Department, which was pretty cool.  Most of our family was able to be there throughout the weekend to support Nick and celebrate his accomplishments.  The only ones missing were Jeff and Jami and their family, as they had about 7 conflicting schedules. :)  We sure did miss them!  But Heather, Baron, Roman, and little Lila were able to come out from Ohio, and it was great to see them.  We haven't seen Heather and the boys since Rachel's funeral, and with the exceptions of my Mom, none of us had met Lila yet.  It was great to see them again!  Khushboo, Nick's girlfriend, was also able to come from Alabama, and it was really fun to have her around as well.

Danny had to work on Thursday and Friday, and I'm too pregnant to schlep our 3 kids to Provo and back for an 8 am convocation, so we didn't attend any of the ceremonies.  But, we were excited to meet everyone back at Grandma Candy's for fun and festivities once everyone was back from Provo and rested.  We grilled some burgers and enjoyed dinner together.  The kids were so excited to all be together again, and they played and played and played!  We did manage to get them to sit and refuel for a few minutes...

Grandma Candy and I had fun in the kitchen, getting the more adult fare like guacamole ready for dinner, while everyone just hung out and visited.  It was a pretty casual and low-key gathering, which was both unusual and wonderful!

Then it was time for Uncle Nick to open his presents!  He got some pretty cool stuff.  From our Mom, he got his giant family picture, for which he was very grateful.  We all love that picture.  He also got a car kit for his long trip to the east coast, just in case the car broke down. :)  Then Heather, Jenny, Jessie and I all pitched in to upgrade his iPhone for him.  He was really stoked about that!  Heather went above and beyond with a cash-filled card, and Khushboo bought him a very nice leather satchel so he will look cool as a teacher.  I think he made out like a bandit!

After presents, the real fun began!  Grandma Candy found this awesome place called the Trampoline Park that she thought would be fun for kids of all ages.  And she was right!  From Johnny right up to Danny, everyone had the time of their lives!  Here's the photo evidence:

You can see Roman and Baron throwing gang signs. :)  Not really, but they were going to be celebrating their 7th birthday while they were here with us, so I had them throw up a seven for the crowd.  The kids had so much fun!  They had these giant foam pits that Johnny and Eli wouldn't stay away from.  They'd stand at the edge and get ready for a big jump...and then just walk in. :)  Cute boys!

After an hour, everyone was exhausted and ready to call it a night.  We all headed to our respective beds, and met up the next afternoon back at Grandma Candy's.  There was something on an open house scheduled in the afternoon for Nick's friends and the ward family to come and say congrats and goodbye to Nick.  At the end of this celebratory weekend, he was heading off to New Jersey to begin his teaching post with Teaching Across America.  We enjoyed too many sweet things, and quite a few sweet friends, and then  Danny and I brought our kids home.  We had early morning church after all, and the kids definitely needed baths!  

We were back at Grandma Candy's on Sunday for dinner, birthday cake, and more fun.  As I mentioned, Roman and Baron were going to be turning 7 a few days after they left for home, so we took the opportunity to celebrate their birthday with them.  We get to see them so rarely, it was a real treat!  As their gift from us, Danny and the kids and I picked them out a really cool "Avengers" cake, complete with super hero rings! :)  I think the boys enjoyed it.  I know my boy enjoyed eating it!

The rest of the evening was spent just enjoying each other's company.  The kids had a blast playing outside with the wiggle cars.  Well, the boys enjoyed the wiggle cars.  Claire, Sophie, and Isabelle were the princesses.  Baron and Roman were so fast on those wiggle cars, we didn't get a single decent picture of those two!

It was a great weekend, and it was so fun to be together as family.  It's especially fun to have the kids together with their cousins that they don't see very often.  Nick and Khushboo took off early Monday morning for their adventures back east, and Heather and her kids headed back to Ohio early Tuesday.  We hope it's not so long before we're all together again.

Week 38

Another week closer and bigger, too! :)  And that pretty much sums up the last week!  We had another visit with Dr. Davis on Monday, and both Mom and Baby look great.  In fact, Luke is looking almost too good. :)  Apparently, his size is such that the ultrasound program won't project a gestational age anymore.  It simply computes "OOR", or "Out Of Range".  For some reason, Dr. Davis found this to be very funny.  But not as funny as Luke's estimated size.  Last week, he weighed in at 8 lbs 12 oz.  Danny guessed this week's weight at 9 lbs 4 oz, thinking with the two pounds he put on last week, he would gain a bit less this week.  I figured the same thing.  Well, we were wrong!  This week, Luke's estimated weight is 9 lbs 10 oz!!

So, needless to say, I'm getting mighty uncomfortable!  Sleep is a thing of the past, and I'm slowly starting to accept that.  I just can't get comfortable at all.  My belly feels stretched no matter how many pillows I prop around me, and when the baby finally settles down, he settles in a hip or on a lung.  Or a lot of the time, both!  Can't say I blame him.  I guess he's probably almost as uncomfortable at this point as I am.

Something I have dealt with more this week is fear, believe it or not.  It started last Saturday, while Danny and I were watching "Iron Man".  I was so uncomfortable, and had been having some moderately painful contractions throughout the day.  We were up way too late watching this movie, and the thought passed through my mind that tonight would be a classic night to go into labor.  With both Danny and I exhausted.  That's usually how it works, you know.  As I was thinking that, I expected to feel relief at the prospect of labor.  However, what I felt was gripping fear!  It only lasted a few seconds, but I was terrified.  I had the whole scene flash before my eyes.  Walking in to the OR.  Sitting on that cold metal table.  And then trying to relax and bend my back while the anesthesiologist puts a giant needle in my back to paralyze me for surgery.  I hate that part.  And then not being able to move my legs enough to swing them back onto the table so I can lay down, only to be embarrassed when a nurse has to lift what feels like 200 lbs of dead weight onto the table.  Then, I lay there and listen to them go through their pre-op procedures while they clean and shave me.  How humiliating.  Finally, Danny will show up all cute in his scrubs and I'm so relieved, for a moment.  But Danny's arrival means they're about to start.  Start cutting into me.  I fight to stay calm, and so far I've always been able to manage.  Barely!  Before I know it, they tell me that I'm going to feel a pulling sensation, and then my baby is here!  At least, that's always how it's been in the past.

At this point in my mental parade of memories, the "what-ifs" crawl in my ear and start with their insidious whispers.  "What if they nick an artery and I bleed out?"  "What if the baby doesn't cry?"  "What if I never get the feeling back in my legs?"  On and on and on.  So, I've been fighting to stay calm and faithful that everything will be perfectly routine.  That Luke will be every bit as perfect and healthy as his siblings have been.  And that the recovery, though undoubtedly painful, will be the same as the other ones.  Totally doable.

Anyway, that's what I keep telling myself.  Gratefully, each day that passes, I get that much more uncomfortable.  And I get less and less fearful, and look more and more forward to the inevitable relief. 

Week 36...or is it 37?

I'm a little confused as to how I should be labeling these posts.  Technically, I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow.  A number that I feel certain is wrong...I must be closer to 39 by now...but which is nonetheless accurate.  However, when I had my appointment on Monday, I was 36 weeks and 4 days.  At my previous week's appointment, I was 35 weeks and 4 days, which is why I labeled last week's post as "Week 35".  I'll be just short of 40 weeks when we go in for the section, so I think I'll label the posts according to what my appointment schedule is.  Which would make this Week 37.

Phew!  Now that we have that (very) minor detail cleared up, we can move on. :)  We'll start with my appointment a couple of days ago.  When I saw Dr. Davis, he said "Well, it looks like spring has sprung!".  I was surprised that he would think I looked all that much bigger.  I feel like I've hit maximum stretchage!  We started the ultrasound, and he got measurements on the head circumference and the length of one femur.  This is how he extrapolates an approximate size.  According to the size, I was registering at 40 weeks 6 days. :)  Dr. Davis then started to laugh, and asked me how big Luke was last week.  I answered that he was 7 lbs.  Dr. Davis shook his head, laughed, and said that the weight he was getting then was 8 lbs 12 oz!  That's almost 2 pounds in one week!  Now, I'm sure these aren't exact measurements, but if how I've been feeling this last week is any indication, Luke has certainly gotten significantly bigger!  Gigantic size aside, Luke looks great and so do it.  Well, my vitals do anyway. :)

I'm still feeling very much at the end of my rope.  Only now I feel my son's rather large head against my cervix every time I take a step, and it's made going up the stairs a bow-legged affair.  Thanks to the much cooler weather, I'm not nearly as swollen anymore, which is really nice.  But I'm having such a hard time getting comfortable, whether sitting, standing, or lying down, that I just feel miserable.  Church is pure torture.  Dealing with the kids in any kind of a patient way is still a near impossibility.  And three weeks still seems like a very, VERY long time!

I have spent more time over the last few days getting ready for Luke's arrival.  I realized that there are quite a few things that need to be done before I go to the hospital, but also plenty that I should have in order before I come home!  So, when I have some energy and am not otherwise occupied, I'm sorting and washing clothes, getting shopping done, and working to get everything organized and in order.  I just wish my nesting instinct came with more than just desire to get things done.  A little burst of energy would help a lot!

I hate complaining so much.  But I just can't wait to be past this part!  I did have a tender moment last night, though.  Danny has been out of town this week, and I've been taking care of the kids solo.  After a long day, and another bedtime routine in the books, I was feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted.  I sat down, and felt Luke move around.  I put my hand against my belly, which I usually do, and I swear I felt his little fist.  I know it wasn't his foot, it was too small and in the wrong area.  But it was this perfectly round little protrusion on my belly.  I pushed on it, and he pushed back.  I had this fleeting image of his little hand wrapped around my finger, letting me know that we were in this together, and we'd make it through.  It was tender mercy.  One I'm grateful for.

Well, in just under 3 weeks, I'll actually have that little hand around my finger.  Baby steps... :)